Nudie Bars

I've figured out why guys like me go to strip clubs. I want to state up front that I do not frequent strip clubs. I have only been to two different clubs on a handful of occasions; every time was with a bachelor party or as a wingman (yes, I said wingman). For most people, those clubs do little more than create a bad case of blue balls while separating you from your money and leaving you horny and frustrated ad the end of the night. Honestly, porn is cheaper and you can finish when you are done. I will also say that some of the most attractive women I've seen at those places were not working, precisely because they generally wore normal clothes and normal style heels.

The club I went to in AC last year was kind of sad really. There wasn't a lot of pole dancing (part of the reason to go is the show), it was byob, and the girls basically begged you for money. We got there early, so the selection was very limited. By the time we left at around 11 or 12 o'clock the place had gotten very crowded and the line was around the block.

The other club that I have been to was Club Risque in Bristol. That was a much more enjoyable place to be. For one thing it wasn't just horny/lonely single guys filling the place up - guys brought their girl with them! The place was set up more like a hang-out with a (reasonably) priced bar and pool tables; Going there you don't have to spend $20 a lap dance or stand around doing nothing. The biggest difference was the quality and temperament of the women who worked (you) there. First, they were generally more attractive. Most importantly, they didn't spend all of their time hitting you up for lap dances or to stuff $5 in the "kitty". They were hanging out too - playing pool, stuffing money in the Magic-touch at the end of the bar, and chatting with regulars (who generally don't spend of time on couches in the back). Granted, damn near anything they do has the ultimate goal of separating you from your money (they are working after all) - they simply were not pushy.

This brings me to the 'thesis': Why sad lonely men, such as my self, outside of a bachelor party or other gathering. There is the obvious reason: Attractive women, wearing next to nothing beyond the mandatory (?) platform heels, gyrating in front of you while you pound beers. Women who can pole dance are a truly impressive, acrobatic site. Believe it, or not: a train of women strip down to a thong while rhythmically grinding away would get boring without the pole dance. (Damn now I sound like a strip club connoisseur. That can't be a good thing).

The thing that made this club so much more enjoyable was the simple fact that they made small talk with you. Were else can an average joe go and have attractive women walk up to the and say hi. I know that it is part of their 'shtick, but it is a bit of a confidence builder. Honestly, most of the time I have to be half lit before I even think about walking within 5 feet of a women, let alone talking to a woman - having them come to you and say hello is bloody fantastic! This is especially true if you fall into an actual conversation; all of a sudden I can talked to an attractive woman - wow!. I'm not saying that it is an ideal environment to learn that particular art (only so much blood...), but it can't be that bad a place to get a start. Additionally, the chance of be rejected on site is damn near zero. If you look like Igor or smell like you've been playing in a pig pen you might still have a problem, assuming the bouncers at the door even let you in (Apparently, strippers have standards too). For normal and shy guys it is a fantastic mental icebreaker that makes approaching women seem less insurmountable. I will say that moderation is key. Any progress made will be lost after the second or third lap dance; at the point physiology will take over and you'll probably be so horny that up is down, left is right, and the Lions could win the Super Bowl.

I'll have more on this later.